Hooo... heeey... it's all about the money... | Can telecom millions buy AT&T and the NSA a "Get Out of Jail Free" card from Congress?

Don't be fooled, boys and girls, by the smoke that's being blown up your ass – the smoke that says that the big “telecoms” need some “special” legal protection for doing what they did (or didn't do) in the name of national security. First of all, the law already gives them this kind of protection – as long as they acted in “good faith” and followed previously established FISA (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act) procedures and rules.

Here's the bottom line, as far as AT&T is concerned, it's not a matter of law, but of money. AT&T knows that without this new “above the law” law now being run through Congress, their ass was pretty much cooked.

You see, even though they cannot publicly confirm or deny it, AT&T's own documents, documents already in the hands of the court, supports the charges that they are guilty of granting NSA sweeping and unfettered access to all their customer communications, without first getting the proper FISA warrants.

For AT&T the real question is how much is this faux-pas going to cost? Should they drop millions now, all over Washington DC (keep a sharp eye out for an increase in contributions to key players, like Senate majority leader, Harry Reid) in order to insure that they receive this special “Get Out of Jail Free” card – or should they risk paying billions as a result of potentially massive law suits filed by their customers for deliberately and knowingly violating their privacy under the terms of their service agreements?

It's a whole different story for the NSA and the current administration, however, because they face the very real danger that if AT&T looses the case brought by EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation) - and it's looks like they will - it will result in incontestable proof that they broke the law.

It's worth remembering that in the interest of improving our ability to fight terrorists, Congress amended FISA four different times after 9/11 - at the behest of both the President and the intelligence gathering community. Contrary to spurious claims of constitutionally granted Executive powers which preclude any culpability, Congress decided to preserve FISA over-sight and retained those particular provisions which require warrants.

Ask yourself this. What do you think the chances are – especially watching this whole weird legal limbo dance going on – that Bush and his intelligence boys are guilty as sin? Whoa... spooky! Isn't this like some weird retro-60's déjà vu trip, with “tricky-Dicky” Nixon and the Watergate thing, not to mention that whole fucked-up Vietnam War mess?! Hey... wasn't it the abuse of power of that flagitious period that led to the creation of this whole FISA thing?

Intelligence? That's a laugh. Can these boys find anything? Isn't the NSA involved in another suit that basically came about because they “accidental” let some of their secret files fall into the wrong hands? Yep. Intelligence... Can we talk about “competence” and whether or not we ought to have some way of measuring this rumor of “intelligence”, huh?

Anyway... before you are tempted to get all “wooey” with big ole fake tears of sympathy for these Dumb-asses... I dunno, because you feel that they were just trying to keep poor America safe. Stop and think for a minute. There is a “right” way of doing what they wanted to do (and always has been), and nobody ever said, “Sorry NSA, but we won't let you spy on the bad guys”. Anybody who tries to tell you otherwise, is a flat-out LIAR.

The quagmire that AT&T finds itself in now, is precisely the one that concerned Qwest. Out of the big “telecoms”, Qwest was the only one who listened to their lawyers and decided to reply to the NSA's request with the stipulation; “... not without the proper warrants and FISA procedures.”

But, wait. Here's the “cherry-on-top” of this gigantic and very sad “banana split” of democracy:

Just days earlier, AT&T decided to re-word some of their “evil empire” language in their original customer's terms of service (TOS) agreement, which essentially stated that AT&T could terminate your account, if they found out that you were expressing opinions, or sharing information that "... tends to damage the name or reputation of AT&T, or its parents, affiliates and subsidiaries."

“How dare you... ! How dare you even shoot an immodest glance in OUR direction!” AT&T issues you a direct reprimand, “Ve vill have yu SHOT ... und yur children vill be sent to zee Russian Front!!!” LOL!! Oh my Gawwwd.... Who are these freaks?

Ahhhhh... yeah... poor Ma-Bell. Hey, didn't AT&T just recently bring a massive suit against Vonage, their big Internet telephone competitor ... and also plop down a serious chuck of change – like $2.8 billion to buy Spectrum, so they would be in a good position to capitalize on the up-and-coming super fast new generation 3G-IPhones? Yessureee Bob...!!

Somehow I don't think that innocent well-meaning "wouldn't hurt a fly"AT&T needs special congressional legal protection. Spare me! On the other hand... I bet you can guess who would really really love them to have it? Gee. Who... who... who could that be?

I know, I know. Why complain? What are the chances that bundles of cash will do you any good in Washington? I don't want to sound like your average stupid asshole, but I have to know. Is it true? Can money buy influence in a little ole town once called Foggy Bottom?

Fuck, dude. It's just like Russia, these days. Cash talks and bullshit walks. Anyway... as they say... if you don't own it, then basically you're somebody's bitch!

Now that's the new American way, okay!